All humans have a basic survival system designed to protect us called neuroception.
It is constantly monitoring if we are safe or if we are under threat.
PDA brains have highly sensitive neuroception, it is very easy for their bodies and brains to go into a fight, flight, freeze stress response.
If we imagine encountering a vicious dog, first our breathing and heart rate would increase to get more blood and oxygen to our muscles, our sensory systems would become hypervigilant to our surroundings. Our first instinct might be to freeze, maybe the dog won’t see us. If that doesn’t work, we need to be able to run away to safety (flight). Then if we can’t out run it, we need to be ready to fight or maybe even play dead (shutdown). Another option might be give the dog food in the hope of making friends to prevent it from hurting us (fawning).
This is the kind of threat response that is happening for our PDAers, but instead of only experiencing it in life of death situations, they are experiencing it every time they are met with demands or a loss of autonomy.
PDA brains have a pervasive drive for autonomy, a need for control, a need for safety.
The behaviours that we see in our kids are stemming from a neurological response that is out of their control. Their body and brain are literally responding as if their life depends on it.
Our job as parents is to create environments that allow our kids to emerge out of their threat response.
To find out more about neuroception and the behaviours that we see in our kids, I highly recommend…
- The Pocket Guide to Polyvagal Theory by Stephen Porges.
- Beyond Behaviours and Brain-Body Parenting by Mona Delahooke.
- Raising Kids with Big Baffling Behaviors by Robyn Gobbel.
