I bet you have read the books, tried every parenting technique, and been bombarded with unsolicited advice: Reward systems, consequences, time outs, routines, and strict boundaries.
I bet none of them have worked and you have intuitively started picking your battles: Worked out that its easier just to let your child sleep in their clothes, eat in front of the TV and bath only when absolutely necessary.
I bet you have had to sit with other people’s judgement and have had to challenge your own belief systems around education, therapy intervention, parenting and your career.
I bet you have questioned yourself and your child. Why is this so hard? How will they ever learn? How will they survive in the real world?
You aren’t doing it wrong. You are not a bad parent. As Dr Ross Greene says, “Good parenting is being receptive to the hand you have been dealt.”
Living a low demand lifestyle comes from necessity. Necessity to ensure your child’s most basic evolutionary need for safety is met. Necessity to maintain a calm home. Necessity to implement an approach that must be sustainable for all family members over the long term.
Don’t let the name deceive you. Living a low demand lifestyle is not easy, but I’m betting that the profound love you have for your child will overcome the hard times.
Remember the mantra, ‘Just for now’… this isn’t forever. Just because your PDAer can’t do it now doesn’t mean it will stay this way forever. Trust that they will do things when they are ready and able. They will surprise you, I promise. It seems counter-productive doesn’t it, the more you push the more they resist, the less pressure you put on something and all of a sudden, they will self-initiate. This is the PDA paradox.
By embracing a low demand lifestyle you are creating a trusting and respectful relationship with your child.
