I want to share a story with you.
As a young child, our PDAer absolutely loved drawing, it was part of everyday. We would even take pens and paper on our morning walk to the park, and he would lie under the fort and draw.
He was interested in letters and numbers and started wanting to write his name.
Then when he hit burnout at 3 and a half, he lost lots of skills including his passion for drawing and writing. Any suggestions around drawing, painting, colouring, writing would be met with extreme resistance.
So, we stopped pushing, we radically changed our lives, we allowed his nervous system to heal, and we trusted that he would do things like drawing and writing again when he was ready.
A couple of months ago, out of the blue, our PDAer sat down to draw a picture. This was after a year of no drawing! I had to keep my excitement in check because I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it and inadvertently create pressure that this would happen again.
Then a few days later he drew enough drawings to cover the walls of his bedroom. I gave him my full attention when he wanted to show me what he had drawn but didn’t ask any questions or make further suggestions.
Then about a month later he started wanting to work on his ‘documations’ as he calls them- he would sit at the desk in the study creating pages and pages of pretend writing. I secretly put away a page in my box of keep-sakes, this was a day I wanted to remember.
He started wanting to draw his name with chalk, with a stick in the chip bark at the park, with the pens at Granny’s house, carve it into trees. We just carried on as if this was a usual thing! No correcting or teaching. Inside I was bursting.
Then not only did he start to draw pictures, but he also wanted to label them too and started to sound out the syllables in words.
He started requesting to do alphabet puzzles that had been gathering dust in the cupboard.
Before bed he would say a combination of letters and ask me what it spelt and would be absolutely thrilled if he stumbled across a combination that made a real word.
One day while we were playing, I pulled out a fun letter app and just started to explore it myself. It caught his attention and he wanted to learn about writing all the letters.
His innate joy for learning is a glorious thing to watch as it unfolds in his own way.
Our little boy is coming back to us. He needed time. He needed to feel safe. He needed us to trust him.
I share this story because it is so easy to doubt ourselves and question if we are doing the right thing.
Trusting in our kids, and giving them time, are some of the most beautiful gifts we can give them.
I’d love you to share with me your stories. What skills have emerged for your kids when you took the pressure off?
